Tonight Riley said “One time I tasted the bottom of my foot. It tasted like meat. That’s because we’re made out of meat.”

He also said “I’m half monkey and half mouse. That’s because I’m good at the monkey bars and I love cheese. But not string cheese. And I’m part funnest man in the world.”

Angel wrote a blog today that I think is hysterically funny. Go read it.

My brother Taylor recently started his own website called The In Betweens.  His idea is to have a bunch of different people tell interesting or funny stories from their life. He asked me if I would do an episode. I agreed.

I just finished it and I’m hoping he’ll think it’s good enough to use. Since I don’t think his site and my site share much of the same traffic I figured I’d go ahead and post it here.

My episode is the story of the most embarrassing event in my life.

Download the mp3 here.

Did anybody know that people of earth still bowl? Yeah, me either. I haven’t been bowling since I was a wee little pup. We had fun. My legs are killing me and I can’t move my right wrist but other than that it was perfectly enjoyable. Here’s what bowling looks like in case you don’t remember.

Angel in her brand new glasses.

The totals.

I am particularly interested in this last picture because I never knew that I had lips on the back of my head.

If you happen to own a copy of the Internet you’ve probably already heard this but if you don’t, check it out. This blows my mind.

We are very easily entertained around here.

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Notice anything strange about our tree? Like, how it’s half gone?

I got up this morning and let Lilly out to do her business while I was getting ready for work. Well, apparently Lilly’s business is now the tree trimming business. When I went to let her inside I noticed that she had been kind enough to do a little pruning of the new tree.

So we went to Wal Mart tonight and bought this little decorative fence to keep her out. How is a tiny little fence going to deter a giant dog? you ask. Here’s how. Before we installed the fence Angel suggested we use a technique she learned when she was an interrogator for the CIA. We all chased Lilly around the yard with pieces of the fence banging them together and scaring Lilly within an inch of her tree-trimming life. After she was convinced that the fence was thoroughly set on her demise we put the fence in. Dog traumatized. Problem solved.

We planted an apple tree tonight. So what? you say. Well this is not just any old apple tree. This is a Honey Crisp apple tree. If you’ve never had a Honey Crisp apple go out and buy two dozen right now. I’ll wait. They are far and away the most awesome apples ever to tempt a mortal.

You may consider asking if your local grocer offers any financing or same-as-cash deals before you pick up too many of these suckers because they are pricey to say the least. Thus the apple tree.

In only five to seven more years we’ll be able to remove the Honey Crip apple line from our monthly budget because we’ll be churning out these puppies for free. Jealous?

If you squint really hard you can find the tree in this next picture. It’s about two pixels wide.

See it? Well look again. Now do you see it?

You might notice that Lilly is eyeballing the thing trying to figure out a way to grab it and make her escape without Angel raking her to death.

When I was dumping the camera tonight it was obvious that Riley had gotten his hands on it because there were about 74 pictures of completely random objects around our house. Here is one that I liked.

This is such a great picture of Lilly’s eye boogers and runny nose that I just had to share.

Riley and I decided to collaborate once again on a sequel to The Loser Truck. It didn’t turn out so great. We had a few laughs but it’s not really ready for prime time. Maybe it was the sophomore slump.

The intro was awesome but it quickly took a dive after that. I thought I’d share the intro though because it cracks me up.

If any of you remember the skit comedy show The State from many years ago you’ll most certainly remember their commercial spoof called “Little Brown Dog Food.”  One of the lines was “I don’t eat dog food myself on a particular basis but I’ve heard from sources that it’s good for feeding dogs.” Ever since that skit, we’ve changed our pronunciation of the word dog. Riley demonstrates the new pronunciation in this intro.

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I’ve been working a lot lately trying to pull my sax chops back together and it’s starting to come back to me now. One of the main things I’ve been working on is Michael Brecker’s tune Itsbynne Reel. This has always been one of my favorite Brecker tunes. His writing blows my mind and his level of playing is completely unattainable by mere mortals.

I recorded myself playing along with the first minute and a half or so of this tune. It’s a long way from perfect but I thought I’d let everybody here what I’ve accomplished so far. Here is the sheet music if you’d like to follow along at home.

Click here to download the mp3.

Big weekend coming up. Tomorrow night I’m going to see a reunion show of Dino’s very first band, The Hype. I think it’s been twenty years since that band was formed. Fifteen maybe? Ten? I don’t remember. Anyway, the show marks some anniversary of the band’s forming or first show or something like that. I’m very excited to see them play. They will be playing a bunch of 80’s covers and I can’t think of many things that I enjoy more than 80’s covers. That was not facetious.

They’ll be playing at Helen Fitzgerald’s from 6:00 to 8:30 so come on out because I’m going by myelf and I hate that.

Then Saturday night Angel and I will be celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary by having dinner at The Melting Pot.  We did the same thing last year and I liked the food so much that we decided we’d do it every year. I don’t think anybody will be getting any tattoos this time but you never know.

After dinner we’re heading to the saddest fun show you could ever want to see. The Maxtone Four will be playing their final show and they’ve asked me to sing on a couple of tunes so that should be a blast.

So lots of milestones this weekend. You should come to one of them. Let me suggest that you not choose our anniversary dinner.