After a trip through the Taco Bell drive-through tonight I decided that it would serve society well for someone to write a Taco Bellian to English dictionary.

There is a new trend in drive-through speak that I find infuriating. Apparently “How ya doin’?” is Taco Bellian for “Welcome to Taco Bell, may I take your order please?” I learned that “How ya doin’?” doesn’t really mean “How ya doin’?” after I answered the question with a “fine” only to sit in utter silence for a good minute waiting for the keeper of the window to say something more. He didn’t. So I did. Then I repented.

I also learned that when they hand you your food and you say “Thank you”, a response of complete silence or a “No problem” both mean “Thank you and please come again.”