I am a man. Want to know how I know? I did lots of manly things today. That’s how.

Within ten minutes of getting out of bed this morning I recorded a cowboy song. I’ve found that my voice sounds its coolest as soon as I get up. My range is horrible but my tone is cool so I took advantage and recorded myself sounding cool like a cowboy.

After that my wife fixed me breakfast. A hot breakfast mind you. Manly.

After that I smoked some meat on my new smoker – one turkey and a slew of chicken breasts. The turkey took nine hours of manliness and everyone on the block could smell me being a man. (Wow I really just set that one on the T didn’t I?)

I cut the grass. Manly.

I lifted weights. Manly.

I watched baseball. Manly. However, watching the Cardinals this season is actually more of a manly minus 1.

There are a few manly things that I didn’t do because I didn’t have the time. For a truly successful man-day I would have had to kill an animal for no reason. I would also have had to work on my truck.

I don’t have a truck.

I have an Escort wagon.

I made fun of my Escort wagon just to be manly.