Here are a few things I’ve learned over the past few weeks:

1) The ice cream from the ice cream shop at the end of my street is better this season than it’s been in 20 years.

2) My triglycerides are over three times what they should be. (see item one for explanation)

3) Spinach and artichoke chicken Lean Pockets are awesome. (see item two for explanation)

4) Martin Luther’s ‘The Bondage of the Will’ is one of the most viciously funny books I’ve ever read.

5) Elephants paint better than I do.

6) Mr Magorium’s Wonder Emporium is worth seeing far more than once, though I seriously disagree with its philosophical leanings.

7) Oprah has started a new religion.

Wide is the path that leads to the words ‘new’ and ‘religion’ being placed together in a sentence. This is as disturbing to me as an evangelical church having the word ‘relevant’ on the main page of its website.