The Loser Truck

April 19th, 2009 |

This is what happens when Riley and I team up to make the most awesome Monster Truck movie ever. Even with a very limited supply of footage I was able to make cinematic history. Riley’s emotional monologue to set up the movie is the stuff Golden Globes are made of. Windows Movie Maker (in the right hands) provides more than enough power to stun even the harshest of critics.

You’re welcome. 

Two Nights in the Studio

April 10th, 2009 |

Wednesday and Thursday nights I was in the studio tracking my guitar parts for three different songs. I had hoped to do four songs but it turns out I’m very afraid of red lights.

I was having some trouble with this one particularly simple guitar part and Jacob said “Just imagine you’re in your basement at home. The only difference is that I’m pushing the record button.” I said “Yeah, but at home I do everything 200 times.”

Over the span of three songs I used five different guitars. Because I can, that’s why!

1) My G&L Strat

2) My Tacoma acoustic

3) My uncle Keith’s Country Gentleman

4) Jacob’s Gretsch Tennessean

5) Jacob’s Epiphone Les Paul

Caution! Name-droppings ahead.

I used Scott Bryan‘s old Fender Concert Amp for most of the electric guitars. It was pretty cool to take it out of the road case that says “Sheryl Crow Band” on the front of it. Scott played in Sheryl’s band for years and he’ll be playing various instruments and singing on my record as soon as we’re to the point that we’re ready for him. I’m definitely looking forward to that.

If anyone would like to donate the money needed for finishing the rest of the album I’ll name it after you. I’m serious – except for the naming it after you part.

Yesterday afternoon Riley and I went to the ballgame to test our bodies’ resilience against the cold and the rain. We didn’t hold up so well. When we walked out of the house the weather was nice and tolerable so we dressed accordingly. By the third inning Riley was saying “Maybe we should go home. I want to be warm with mommy.”

This picture was taken just before the hypothermia set in.

The Crib

April 4th, 2009 |

We finished up the living room today. This whole thing was pretty much Angel’s brain child from the beginning. She started off by wanting a dog that would ruin our furniture by urinating on it and then eating it. I have to admit, it seemed a strange way to go about remodeling our living room but I’ll be a monkey’s sailboat if it didn’t work.

Here is what our furniture looked like a few years ago before the urine and drool.

It doesn’t look like that any more.

We had to resort to buying some slip covers for three of the four pieces and they look pretty nice in a relaxed-fit sort of way. 

Here are some pictures of the process.

The stripes were Angel’s idea and she did all of the hard work. I think they turned out great.

Here’s the awesome Country Gentleman I was talking about.

I’m glad we’re done. Now we can get back to letting the dog tear up all the new stuff.

Happy Birthday Angel

February 27th, 2009 |

Angel got even older today. What a shame. As soon as she starts looking as old as she is she’s off to the curb. But until then, her secret is safe with me.

I just love her pretty smile. You had me at Daarrrrr.

Happy Birthday Honey. I love you. Fur rills.

Angel Kills Again

February 23rd, 2009 |

I ordered a new computer for Angel today. Angel has developed a reputation as quite the PC serial killer around these parts, although I think her death toll and my death toll are probably comparable truth be told.

The new computer is out of necessity but I told her I’d get her a new monitor for her birthday, which is this Friday. I’ve got a 21.5″ wide screen flat-panel picked out for her and she’s rubbing it in my face that she’ll finally, after all these years, have a piece of electronic equipment that’s nicer than mine. My monitor is an old 19″ CRT that I’ve had for years and years. I’m a little miffed about that.

I showed up on Jacob Detering’s blog the other day. Check it out if you’re into that sort of thing.

Vlogging

January 6th, 2009 |

I’ve been considering doing some video blogging but I wasn’t sure exactly how I was going to go about it since I don’t really want to put them on YouTube and then embed them here.

I’ve found a solution that I think is going to work. I don’t have it all figured out just yet but here’s a short video of Riley on New Years Eve to show how this player will work.

Happy New Year

January 1st, 2009 |

Did you see Robbie Knievel’s death-defying vroom vroom of doom last night? Yeah me too.  That’s the only motorcycle jump in recent memory to which I reacted with an emphatic “…”, then a “???”, then a “Lame!”

I’ve performed far more hazardous feats on my Mongoose at age thirteen. You make a ramp with an old piece of plywood and a couple of cinder blocks then wisely command all of your friends to lay down in front of it and shut up. Then the pansies just argue over who has to lay the farthest out from the ramp. I don’t know why they always insisted on fighting over this most brave of duties. We all know it’s going to end up being Tommy’s little brother Shawn. He’s, like, seven or eight or whatever. Just make him do it. Tell him to forget about last time and get on with it.

The one thing about the whole Knievel fiasco that I thought was super sweet was the digital renderings of all the disastrous possible outcomes. They showed him catching on fire. Then they showed him catching on fire and over-shooting the landing ramp. Then they showed him catching on fire and never reaching the landing ramp. Then they showed him catching on fire and plowing face first into the front of the landing ramp. Then they showed him catching on fire and then plunging into the volcano thing and then catching on fire even more. Good grief! It’s enough to make a boy explode with fiery anticipation.

Then he nailed it. Pfft!

Here are a couple of pictures from the last minutes of 2008.

I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this before but that wreath made of nails (created by Christopher Gustave) over the TV is the cover of “Invention of the Wheel.” 

Camera Dump Day

December 27th, 2008 |

First of all I want to wish my brother Taylor a happy 19th birthday today. He’s going to be a famous actor some day so get his autograph now while it’s still relatively cheap.

I dumped all of our pictures from Christmas today so I’d thought I share.

Here’s Riley helping Angel decorate cookies…and the table…and the floor…and his clothes.

Here is some of what they came up with.

Riley’s bribe for Santa.

Here we are at my Mom’s house. You might notice that Angel and I are wearing the exact same clothes as we were in the pictures from Thanksgiving. That’s only an optical illusion.

The only thing that could make Riley look any sillier than these antlers is that he’s also wearing a Ram’s shirt.

This is me and my step-dad wishing we had engineering degrees.

Here’s the key to smelling like Angel.

This is Riley trying to look happy as he ponders the idea that mom and dad only got him this stinking snow globe for Christmas.

This was right before I got out my chainsaw to open these stupid, bullet-proof, toy packages.

This is Angel trying to figure out how to build a 35-point word using only vowels.

This is her failing.

I was backing up our server the other day and came across some pictures from when Riley was a baby. Here are a few that I really liked.

Does this butt make me look fat?

Train up a child in the way that he should go and when he’s old he’ll wish he would have finished college.

1st birthday.

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas.

Back from Georgia

December 1st, 2008 |

This past week we went down to Atlanta to spend Thanksgiving with Angel’s family and to learn how to talk funny. I’ve been in the family long enough now that the jabs about me being a Yankee have abated for the most part. Their feelings that I stole Angel from the south just to make her get a job and feed her nothing but hamburgers have proven to be untrue so that’s good.

Here are a few pictures from the trip.

We always celebrate Christmas when we go for Thanksgiving. Angel’s grandparents just so happen to be close personal friends with Santa and Mrs. Clause. I’m not kidding. These folks live as Santa and wife all year long. His licence plates say “Santa 0”.

This next one is Riley still trying to figure out the correct method for picking his nose. I happen to be an expert nose-picker myself but Riley hasn’t really taken to it as well as I would have hoped.

This is Angel feigning avoidance.

This next one is Uncle Matt and Riley breaking the wishbone. Riley is clearly favored to win in the strength category here.

On the drive home just past Monteagle.

Lilly hates our car.

My Weight Loss So Far

October 22nd, 2008 |

Three weeks ago I mentioned that I was participating in a weight loss challenge sort of thing with a bunch of folks from work. The thing goes for twenty-one weeks. My goal was to lose two pounds a week for twenty-one weeks.

Today was the day to turn in our results for the first three weeks. I haven’t been weighing myself as I go because that’s too frustrating for me. But this morning I had to turn in my numbers so I had no choice. I was pretty nervous because if it turned out that I hadn’t met my goal (six pounds) I was going to be rather furious. Well, I have good news. I’ve lost 9.5 pounds so far and my exercise total was 914 minutes. Woot! At this rate I should be gaunt and sickly in no time at all.

I decided not to do any sort of designer or name-brand type of diet. Those definitely work but what I really needed was a change in lifestyle that I could stick to indefinitely. So I’ve just been eating a bunch of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean meat. I’ve also been walking and lifting weights quite a lot. It’s working so far.

Last night as Angel and I were headed to bed I peeked in Riley’s room to make sure he was still breathing and all that. Here’s what I found.

He is sound asleep. That kid is the most sound sleeper I’ve ever seen.

When I got up this morning I found them like this.

That’s a little more like it.