Paint Face

March 31st, 2009 |

Guess who volunteered to paint the ceiling tonight.

The Recipe For Making Music

March 25th, 2009 |

Here are the ingredients necessary for making a great record, so we made sure we had them all.

1) A Slinky

2) Krispy Kreme Donuts (with sprinkles)

3) Oatmeal Pies

4) A bunch of guitars, none of which are tuned to standard tuning. Actually, make that – none of which are tuned at all.

Here’s the kit Joe used.

And So It Begins

March 13th, 2009 |

Tomorrow we’ll begin tracking my new album. That means I won’t sleep tonight. I will most likely spend my night lying in bed, staring at the ceiling (like I can even see that far), and praying. My prayer will probably go something like this:

Dear heavenly father, creator of heaven and earth, please, please, for the love of all that’s holy, don’t let me freak out tomorrow. I am but a lowly, sinful worm. I am chief of all high-strung killjoys. Let me not acquiesce to my jerk-faced flesh. Let me have fun, though fun is often the first to fall victim to my unwillingness to waste time even for a righteous cause. Let me let music happen. Let me not happen to music. You are the creator of music. Help me to remember that. Dear God, let my music glorify you and not me, even though I’ve been working on that one lick for two years now and it might be nice if someone actually noticed. Anyway, you get my point. Lastly, let the musicians like me. Let me be likeable. Don’t let me take any of this too seriously even though there are few things I cherish more than the gift of music. Help me to listen more than talk. And please help me to sing in tune. In Jesus name, Amen.

This week I spent some time putting together some charts for the new tunes. With one tune in particular, called The Temptress, I realized that writing out the chords made the song look quite a bit more complicated than it actually is. It’s certainly not a simple tune but it’s nowhere near as hard as these chord names make it look. Check out the pdf file here.

I finally got the needed repairs done on my saxophone and picked it up from the shop this week. It’s all back in working order now so I took some pictures. Here’s one.

Pretty huh? Word. It’s the real thing. A Selmer Mark VI made in Paris in February of 1958. I just thought I’d let you see it now that it’s been pulled out of retirement.

Happy Birthday Angel

February 27th, 2009 |

Angel got even older today. What a shame. As soon as she starts looking as old as she is she’s off to the curb. But until then, her secret is safe with me.

I just love her pretty smile. You had me at Daarrrrr.

Happy Birthday Honey. I love you. Fur rills.

Happy New Year

January 1st, 2009 |

Did you see Robbie Knievel’s death-defying vroom vroom of doom last night? Yeah me too.  That’s the only motorcycle jump in recent memory to which I reacted with an emphatic “…”, then a “???”, then a “Lame!”

I’ve performed far more hazardous feats on my Mongoose at age thirteen. You make a ramp with an old piece of plywood and a couple of cinder blocks then wisely command all of your friends to lay down in front of it and shut up. Then the pansies just argue over who has to lay the farthest out from the ramp. I don’t know why they always insisted on fighting over this most brave of duties. We all know it’s going to end up being Tommy’s little brother Shawn. He’s, like, seven or eight or whatever. Just make him do it. Tell him to forget about last time and get on with it.

The one thing about the whole Knievel fiasco that I thought was super sweet was the digital renderings of all the disastrous possible outcomes. They showed him catching on fire. Then they showed him catching on fire and over-shooting the landing ramp. Then they showed him catching on fire and never reaching the landing ramp. Then they showed him catching on fire and plowing face first into the front of the landing ramp. Then they showed him catching on fire and then plunging into the volcano thing and then catching on fire even more. Good grief! It’s enough to make a boy explode with fiery anticipation.

Then he nailed it. Pfft!

Here are a couple of pictures from the last minutes of 2008.

I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this before but that wreath made of nails (created by Christopher Gustave) over the TV is the cover of “Invention of the Wheel.” 

Camera Dump Day

December 27th, 2008 |

First of all I want to wish my brother Taylor a happy 19th birthday today. He’s going to be a famous actor some day so get his autograph now while it’s still relatively cheap.

I dumped all of our pictures from Christmas today so I’d thought I share.

Here’s Riley helping Angel decorate cookies…and the table…and the floor…and his clothes.

Here is some of what they came up with.

Riley’s bribe for Santa.

Here we are at my Mom’s house. You might notice that Angel and I are wearing the exact same clothes as we were in the pictures from Thanksgiving. That’s only an optical illusion.

The only thing that could make Riley look any sillier than these antlers is that he’s also wearing a Ram’s shirt.

This is me and my step-dad wishing we had engineering degrees.

Here’s the key to smelling like Angel.

This is Riley trying to look happy as he ponders the idea that mom and dad only got him this stinking snow globe for Christmas.

This was right before I got out my chainsaw to open these stupid, bullet-proof, toy packages.

This is Angel trying to figure out how to build a 35-point word using only vowels.

This is her failing.

I was backing up our server the other day and came across some pictures from when Riley was a baby. Here are a few that I really liked.

Does this butt make me look fat?

Train up a child in the way that he should go and when he’s old he’ll wish he would have finished college.

1st birthday.

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas.

Back from Georgia

December 1st, 2008 |

This past week we went down to Atlanta to spend Thanksgiving with Angel’s family and to learn how to talk funny. I’ve been in the family long enough now that the jabs about me being a Yankee have abated for the most part. Their feelings that I stole Angel from the south just to make her get a job and feed her nothing but hamburgers have proven to be untrue so that’s good.

Here are a few pictures from the trip.

We always celebrate Christmas when we go for Thanksgiving. Angel’s grandparents just so happen to be close personal friends with Santa and Mrs. Clause. I’m not kidding. These folks live as Santa and wife all year long. His licence plates say “Santa 0”.

This next one is Riley still trying to figure out the correct method for picking his nose. I happen to be an expert nose-picker myself but Riley hasn’t really taken to it as well as I would have hoped.

This is Angel feigning avoidance.

This next one is Uncle Matt and Riley breaking the wishbone. Riley is clearly favored to win in the strength category here.

On the drive home just past Monteagle.

Lilly hates our car.

That Eye Sore Is A Real Eye Sore

October 29th, 2008 |

Is that a stye in your eye or are you just glad I punched you?

I woke up this morning with my eye pasted completely shut. I thought that my eye had caught the plague or something.

It turns out I have the stye that ate Manhattan and it’s working its way towards my brain. Now, I’ve had a stye before but nothing like this. This is the size of a giant zit and it’s inside my upper eye lid and pushing against my eye ball. It’s like having a puss factory in my face. I just thought I’d share.

It makes me look a little like Thom York. Maybe that’s cool.

My Weight Loss So Far

October 22nd, 2008 |

Three weeks ago I mentioned that I was participating in a weight loss challenge sort of thing with a bunch of folks from work. The thing goes for twenty-one weeks. My goal was to lose two pounds a week for twenty-one weeks.

Today was the day to turn in our results for the first three weeks. I haven’t been weighing myself as I go because that’s too frustrating for me. But this morning I had to turn in my numbers so I had no choice. I was pretty nervous because if it turned out that I hadn’t met my goal (six pounds) I was going to be rather furious. Well, I have good news. I’ve lost 9.5 pounds so far and my exercise total was 914 minutes. Woot! At this rate I should be gaunt and sickly in no time at all.

I decided not to do any sort of designer or name-brand type of diet. Those definitely work but what I really needed was a change in lifestyle that I could stick to indefinitely. So I’ve just been eating a bunch of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean meat. I’ve also been walking and lifting weights quite a lot. It’s working so far.

Last night as Angel and I were headed to bed I peeked in Riley’s room to make sure he was still breathing and all that. Here’s what I found.

He is sound asleep. That kid is the most sound sleeper I’ve ever seen.

When I got up this morning I found them like this.

That’s a little more like it.

Happy Birthday Lilly

October 14th, 2008 |

Lilly turned one year old today. For her birthday I gave her a piece of my broccoli from dinner and let her lick my feet.

A few nights ago after Riley went to bed Angel and I decided to give Lilly an early birthday party by tormenting her with socks.


Tonight while I was downstairs working on a new tune (you can hear it in the background if you listen closely) Angel shot some video of Lilly fighting with herself and eating her foot. We’re so proud to have such a smart dog.

Riley got a new haircut this past weekend. Over the past few months he had developed an insanely persistent habit of twirling his hair. I mean all the time. Both hands on top of his head all day long, every day. We’ve tried various methods to get him to stop but the one that he finally agreed to was to get a haircut like his buddy Nicolas. Of course it’s the same haircut that I have but looking like dear old dad just didn’t seem to appeal to him quite like looking like Nicolas.