Riley turned six today. He got a Nintendo DS so we don’t expect to talk to him for at least three years.

We’re very thankful that God has blessed us with such a great kid. He’s funny and he can sing. I’ve found these to be very important qualities being that I was able to get a wife by possessing these same qualities despite my homely appearance. Besides, if we had learned that he wasn’t able to sing we probably would have put him up for adoption. Either that or we’d have had to teach him how throw a curve ball.

Today I took Riley with me to get a new remote control for our cable from Charter. Lilly seems to love the taste of them. When we got there I told the lady we needed a new one and Riley said to her “We’re sorry for wasting so many remotes.” She gave it to us for free. I love that kid. We stopped by the Mercedes dealership after that but Riley’s pitch didn’t yield quite the same results.

Last Saturday was such a beautiful day that we decided to revel in the beauty of God’s creation by going to the library. Being outside is highly overrated. Besides, who can honestly resist the smell of a seventy-five year old book?

I read a lot, and up until a few weeks ago I was on quite a tear reading one book on theology after another. Then I decided to take a break from the non-fiction stuff and read The Pilgrim’s Progress. A few pages in to that sucker and my reading frenzy ground to a complete halt. Sorry. I know it’s one of the most famous Christian books ever and all that but I just couldn’t do it. I’ll get back to it on my death bed or something.

So back to the library. I wanted to get back to the historical Christian non-fiction genre so I found St. Augustine’s “Confessions” (397-398) and Thomas A Kempis’ “The Imitation of Christ” (1418) in one volume. These are probably two of the most influential non-fiction books in the history of Christendom. And the smell of the book was downright stellar so I grabbed it.

I also grabbed “The Story of Our Hymns“. I’ve read just enough of it to realize that I’m a hack songwriter. I also learned that church organists are never to put the seventh in the dominant chord of a hymn. Interesting. No, seriously. That’s very interesting. I guess I’d never considered it before. Too much pull back to the tonic might just send the crowd into a frenzy.

The last book I grabbed was a gigantic book of lullabies. Lots of babies falling out of trees and the like. Really captivating stuff. I’ve actually written a few of my own. My favorite one goes like this.

Hush little baby, if I have to tell you one more time to turn your light out and go to sleep you’re going to be sorry.

Gentle child, be quiet. Be quiet. BE QUIET! STOP SINGING AND GO TO SLEEP!!!

You’re not hungry. You’re sleepy.

No you don’t need another drink puddin’ cakes.

I told you to go potty before you got in bed now just hold it oh apple of mine eye.

The guy who created computers is a big old jerk face.

Software is stupid.

Did I ever have any backward compatibility issues with my four-track cassette recorder? When I upgraded from 99 cent cassettes to $1.49 cassettes did I have to install new drivers? Did I ever run into any problems when I wanted to play a band-practice tape in my car even though it was recorded on a jam box?

The obvious answer to all of these questions is a resounding “I don’t remember. That was, like, a really long time ago.”

How perfect is it that my old PC died right after I bought a whole new library of keyboard samples that aren’t exactly compatible with my new PC? Too perfect.

My MOTU Symphonic Instruments software wouldn’t work at all despite the fact that MOTU has released a (reportedly) Vista compatible installer. I searched the Internet high and low looking for help to no avail. I emailed their tech support about a week ago and the status of my message remains “unread”. Lovely! Just lovely!

In one last desperate attempt at finding some help I searched You Tube hoping that someone had encountered the same issues I was having and I’ll be a lemur’s knuckle if I didn’t find someone. A guy in the UK had a video blog ranting about Sonar and MOTU. So I emailed him asking if he could offer some help and I’ll be a newbie’s dongle if he didn’t get me straightened out. Thank you Internet. Thank you terror. Thank you disillusionment.

Stuart Fox is the kindly chap who helped me get my MOTU up and running. Please visit his site and send him money.

Here’s the video.

When we all woke up this morning Angel, Riley and I all gathered on my bed to wrestle with the dog and enjoy the fact that nobody had to go to work today. Angel thought that Riley and Lilly were being so cute that she grabbed the camera to capture the moment. Here’s what she got.

Happy 4th of July and may all your puppies be as sweet as ours.

Yesterday a mass murderer was caught and arrested at a bar about a mile from my house and basically right across the parking lot from where Angel works.

He looks a little bit like me. I’m flattered. I’ve always considered my current look to be a sort of hatchet-murderer chic.